Friday, August 28, 2020

Justin Giboney

I listened to (and watched) an interview on The Trinity Forum with Justin Giboney, who started The & (And) Campaign and wrote the book Compassion (&) Conviction. I had never heard of him, but wow! What a lot of wise things he said. I will try to remember to come back and link to the interview. Here is a link to a different interview that was good, too, and another. He and his co-author Michael Wear have a podcast, "The Church Politics Podcast." Here are a few things that struck me in the interview. They're not word for word quotes, but things I remember.

  • After being in politics a while, I realized that Christian people assumed that if you want to be in politics you are going to have to surrender some of your convictions. That should not be.
  • Our faith should impact our political outlook.
  • It gives us purpose and mission, connected to everything we do.
  • The love & truth of the gospel - what does it have to do with our interactions.
  • Christians speak the truth in love.
  • We can't be self-centered, we must also be interested in others as much if not more than others.
  • Makes us more willing to go against our own interests, to do what is right.
  • Our faith demands self-sacrifice, which is different than many others'.
  • Walk into what seems a hopeless situation and have hope, to look at others who have hurt you and have love.
  • Let go of our desire to get even, to be right, lay it down and yet speak the truth in love.
  • We are missing moral imagination -- to see past this moment. Faith, seeing through the eyes of God allows you to see past it.
  • Otherworldly, not always rational to give someone the benefit of the doubt, not to seek vengeance.
  • We are witnesses, showing the love of God, not winning. Witness over winning.
  • Everything is a response, "what-about-ism." That can't be the way of Christians. We have our own set of standards.
  • Defend human dignity and promote human flourishing. Stay focussed.
  • The government is ordained by God. It is for order and justice.
  • The political parties are a tool, not your identity. They are a way to get things done. If someone criticizes your party it's not as if they were saying something about your mother.
  • It's good to distance your self from your party or side. List 6 critiques of your own side. If you can't do that you might be getting too entwined in it.
  • Whether you're Christian or not, the question is: Is your neighbor worth it? Your neighbor is worth it because you are worth it. If you don't protect your neighbor you're not protecting yourself.
  • Justice starts with the Imago Dei, that each person is the image of God.
From a partial transcript of an interview:

MARVIN OLASKY: Okay, so let’s talk about the AND Campaign a little bit. What goes on both sides of the ampersand?

JUSTIN GIBONEY: Yeah. So I would say love and truth. Compassion and conviction. Uh, social justice and moral order. Justice and righteousness. One of the things that we found is when Christians get into politics, they feel like they have to go all the way to the left or all the way to the right. And we say, well, if you go all the way to the left, you understand there’s some convictions that you’re not going to be able to take with you, whether it be sanctity of life or the historic Christian sexual ethic. You can’t take those all the way to the left. And if you go to the right, you know, we would say that you, you’re not going to be able to take your compassion to the right with you. And so what we wanted to say is say, b b but instead of that being an or, right? Because our society separates love and truth, it separates compassion and conviction, for whatever reason. The gospel doesn’t, but our society does. We want Christians to see politics differently and say, no, no, no. When I go into politics, I’m about love and truth, compassion and conviction. I’m not gonna make that false choice. Because that’s really what it is, it’s a false dichotomy. And too often we make that because our ideological tribe or our party forces us into that, uh false choice.

Monday, August 24, 2020

Every day is Blursday.

 Read somewhere. Such a good description of days in this time of Corona.


Friday, August 14, 2020

"If we think that the ultimate goal of the church is to fix things then when we are faced with an un-fixable situation we are disappointed in God in a way that's pretty unfair..." Sarah Condon.

On the Mockingcast episode I listened to today, the hosts talked about "crisis of capacity"" -- the point you reach when you can't do anything more. It's not about what you should do, what needs to be done, but the fact that you cannot. Near the end of the episode, Sarah Condon says this:

If we think that the ultimate goal of the church is to fix things then when we are faced with an un-fixable situation we are disappointed in God in a way that's pretty unfair; we're disappointed in our own abilities in a way that will only separate us from God's grace and it's really dangerous. The church is actually, generally speaking, terrible at fixing things because there's social services institutions with people with educations that are able to do that. We can only do so much. 

But if you think that the ultimate purpose of the church is to preach Christ crucified for sinners and salvation, then even when there's nothing else you can do to help or to fix, that is always a place you can turn to. You can always stand at the foot of the cross. When we're able to do that, we're able to see our own mistakes and our own failures as God just getting us ready for a miracle. In the moment when we stop trying to fix it, when we think, "I'm done," that's the moment when you're like, "Look out!" Guess what, you're not good at this. Something is going to happen that goes way beyond your abilities, way beyond your capacity, and you're just going to sit there and watch it happen.

RJ talked about a sermon his brother preached on the story of Joseph and all the heinous things that happened to him -- 50 chapters of Genesis. "It's a beautiful story of redemption. The truth is we're all just in chapter 37 right now."

From Chabad.org.


"I think the hardest thing for anyone is accepting that other people are as real as you are." Zadie Smith

Photo by Mike Chai from Pexels
...That’s it. Not using them as tools not using them as examples or things to make yourself feel better or things to get over or under. Just accepting that they are absolutely as real as you are and have all the same expectations and demands. And it’s so difficult that basically the only person that ever did it was Christ. The rest of us are very, very far behind.




Comparative suffering - Mel Gibson and Jesus

I saw the meme referred to here before, and this discussion of Zadie Smith's writing about it on the Mockingcast was great. I wrote along these lines myself in my last email of God's love


Love, Compassion, and the Relative Suffering of Christ on the Cross: Intimations by Zadie Smith

by CJ GREEN on Aug 5, 2020

Zadie Smith’s Intimations is a short collection of essays about life in corona-time. Most of them are fixed on that singularly bizarre March/April when “surreal” was the only word most of us could cough up; not surprisingly, Smith has a more expressive vocabulary. If the book arouses any suspicion, it’s that it came too fast, but personally, I appreciate the hasty documentation. It’s like reading a bundle of letters from a friend. And I wanted to share a few snippets.

In an essay called “Something to Do,” Smith reflects on her new schedule in lockdown: “in the first week I found out how much my old life was about hiding from life.” She concludes that capital-L Love—“not something to do, but something to be experienced, and to go through”—is what makes life worth living. Not work. Not even art. Of her life pre-corona, she writes:

Conceiving self-implemented schedules: teaching day, reading day, writing day, repeat. What a dry, sad, small idea of a life. And how exposed it looks, now that the people I love are in the same room to witness the way I do time. The way I’ve done it all my life.

The book’s final section is comprised of pithy acknowledgments, “Intimations.” Here Smith quotes Lorraine Hansberry, playwright and author of A Raisin in the Sun:

“When you start measuring somebody, measure him right, child, measure him right.” Therefore: compassion.

To see a person fully is to feel for them. It’s this full, empathetic view that makes Smith such a good novelist and assessor of our current predicament.

Along similar lines, in “Suffering Like Mel Gibson,” Smith addresses the increasingly modern tendency to compare suffering: to neglect one’s pain by measuring it against someone else’s. A long paragraph, it’s nonetheless worth mulling over. Mostly because she evokes Christ on the cross, who, despite everything, had faith that death was not the end.
… I was sent a meme that made me laugh out loud: a photograph of Mel Gibson, in a director’s chair, calmly talking to Jesus Christ himself. Jesus (also in a director’s chair) was patiently listening while soaked from head to toe in blood and wearing his crown of thorns. The caption read: “Explaining to my friends with kids under six what it’s been like isolating alone.” As a rule of social etiquette, when confronted with a pixelated screen of a dozen people, all of them inquiring, somewhat half-heartedly, as to “how you are,” it is appropriate to make the expected, decent and accurate claim that you are fine and privileged, lucky compared to so many others, inconvenienced, yes, melancholy often, but not suffering. Mel Gibson but not Christ. Even Christ, twenty feet in the air and bleeding all over himself, no doubt looked about him and wondered whether his agonies, when all was said and done, were relatively speaking in fact better than those of the thieves and beggars to his left and right whose sufferings long predated their present crucifixions and who had no hope (unlike Christ) of an improved post-cross situation … But when the bad day in your week finally arrives—and it comes to all—by which I mean, that particular moment when your sufferings, as puny as they may be in the wider scheme of things, direct themselves absolutely and only to you, as if precisely designed to destroy you and only you, at that point it might be worth allowing yourself the admission of the reality of suffering, if not for yourself, exactly, then in preparation for that next painful bout of videoconferencing, so that you don’t roll your eyes or laugh or puke while listening to what some other person seems to think is pain.

"Christianity, rightly understood, is a religion of losers."

I heard this being read in the Mockingcast podcast. The title and subtitle really spoke to me since the small number of people in our pews is a concern to me. I know we should not get all caught up in numbers and make goals of gaining more people who show up in the church. On the other hand, we do need people in order to do something as basic as hold a worship service.

Christianity, when properly understood, is a religion of losers

 This article is more than 5 years old

A church that successfully proclaims the message of the cross – death first, then resurrection – is likely to be empty and not full.

Christianity, properly understood, is a religion of losers – the worst of playground insults. For not only do we not want to be a loser, we don’t want to associate with them either. We pointedly shun losers, as if some of their loser-ness might rub off on us. Or rather, more honestly, we shun them because others might recognize us as among their number. And because we secretly fear that this might actually be true, we shun them all the more viciously, thus to distance ourselves all the more emphatically. And so the cock crows three times.

But it is true. Deep failure, the failure of our lives, is something we occasionally contemplate in the middle of the night, in those moments of terrifying honesty before we get up and dress for success. Ecce homo, said Pilate. Behold, the man. This is humanity. And the facade of success we present to the world is commonly a desperate attempt to ward off this knowledge. At the beginning of Lent, Christians are reminded of this in the most emphatic of ways: know that you are dust and to dust you shall return. Those who used the period of Lent to give things up are invited to live life stripped bare, experiencing humanity in the raw, without the familiar props to our ego. This has nothing to do with the avoidance of chocolate and everything to do with facing the unvarnished truth about human failure. There is no way 100 top business leaders would endorse the cross. It is life without the advertising, without the accoutrements of success. It is life on a zero-hours contract, where at any moment we can be told we are not needed.

But here’s the thing. The Christian story, like the best sort of terrifying psychoanalysis, strips you down to nothing in order for you to face yourself anew. For it turns out that losers are not despised or rejected, not ultimately. In fact, losers can discover something about themselves that winners cannot ever appreciate – that they are loved and wanted simply because of who they are and not because of what they achieve. That despite it all, raw humanity is glorious and wonderful, entirely worthy of love. This is revealed precisely at the greatest point of dejection. The resurrection is not a conjuring trick with bones. It is a revelation that love is stronger than death, that human worth is not indexed to worldly success.

In a world where we semaphore our successes to each other at every possible opportunity, churches cannot be blamed for failing to live up to this austere and wonderful message. The worst of them judge their success in entirely worldly terms, by counting their followers. Their websites show images of happy, uncomplicated people doing good improving stuff in the big community. But if I am right about the meaning of Christ’s passion, then a church is at its best when it fails, when it gives up on all the ecclesiastical glitter, when the weeds start to break through the floor, and when it shows others that failure is absolutely nothing of the sort. This is the site of real triumph, the moment of success. Failure is redeemed. Hallelujah.

Another article with quotes from Giles Fraser.

"I'm not going to get better right now."

Image by Alexas Fotos from Pixaby.

"This is not a time in my life when things will get better. Things are not going to improve right now." Sarah Condon quotes a best friend who says this in the Mockingcast episode, Episode 193: Those Upgrades Can Wait.

In this episode the hosts talked about innovation and the neverending drive to improve. They referenced this article as well, tying computer upgrades to the concept of that drive.


Thursday, August 13, 2020

"Chaim Potok’s Wandering Jews: Holding to Faith in a Critical Age" by Wesley Hill

Yoram Raanan, Har Sinai Bavli, oil on canvas and book cover collage, 2019

I love Chaim Potok's books. This article gives me even more reason to love them. "Potok’s best novels probe what it means to 'hold' to tradition in a new, changed way." I follow a lot of people who talk about deconstruction of their childhood Christian faith. This article speaks to the fear that if you deconstruct too much, you won't be a Christian at all. I am drawn to the "second naiveté" this author writes of.

At the heart of Chaim Potok’s 1985 novel Davita’s Harp is a child who is searching for faith. The parents of Ilana Davita Chandal offer little help. Her father was raised Christian in New England but has abandoned his earlier Evangelical fervor. Her mother, a Polish Jewish immigrant, has given up observance of the mitzvot and joined the Communist Party; she is now committed to fighting the fascism she hears is on the verge of consuming Western Europe. Through much of the book, Davita seems unsettled by the snatches of religious language and observance she is able to pick up. When her aunt urges her to have faith in Jesus, Davita raises the classic Jewish objection: “Why is there a war in Spain if Jesus is the Prince of Peace?” Later, when Davita finds her mother’s King James Bible and takes it to synagogue, she horrifies her peers: “They all backed away a step or two as if I were holding in my hand a specimen of forbidden vermin.” “That’s a goyische Bible,” her friend tells her, making her blush with shame. “I did not go back to that synagogue for a long time,” Davita says.

Yet in 1937, she does return, after learning of her father’s death in the bombing of Guernica, where he had been working as a journalist. It is one of the novel’s pivotal scenes. Davita goes back to a synagogue and, finding herself in a kind of daze, says softly aloud the Kaddish, the traditional doxology that asks for the sanctification of God’s name. Davita mouths the words in memory of her father. She can see the men’s side of the synagogue through the curtain. She watches the men rise.

And then I was on my feet too, listening to the voices on the other side of the curtain and reciting faintly with the men the words of the Kaddish, which I found, to my astonishment, that I knew by heart. There was a surge of whispering, a soft surflike rush of sound from the women around me. Someone said, “What is she doing?” Another said something in Yiddish. I stood, quietly reciting the words. There has to be more for you, Papa, than just one memorial service. Can one recite the Kaddish for a father who wasn’t a Jew? I didn’t care. I went on. The Kaddish ended. I sat down and closed my eyes, feeling upon my face the hot stares of all those nearby.

The service went on. Then, moments later, I heard again the words of the Kaddish, and I rose and began to recite them too, louder this time, and I thought I heard one or two of the women answer, “Amen.”

Maybe it is because I think about Paul Ricoeur’s diagnosis of modern readers of the Bible and would-be believers in its God – “Beyond the desert of criticism, we wish to be called again” – that I am tempted to regard Davita’s budding curiosity about Judaism as one of the most immediately relatable entries into Chaim Potok’s work as a whole. A religiously observant life is less and less accessible or intelligible to modern Westerners, yet many of us remain haunted by its possibility. Even the demographic designation “nones” invokes religious sensibility by naming its absence, tacitly acknowledging that, even in the desert, faith’s echo can be heard. Davita’s halting entry into an observant life dramatizes a journey we too might take. Her story makes the prospect of finding a home within a religious tradition, even in a secular age, a live, beguiling one.

Herman Harold Potok was born on the eve of the Depression in the Bronx. The son of distinguished Hasidic parents, Chaim – as he was known at home and later in the world of literature – grew up in a devout and strictly observant Jewish community. He attended the more liberal Yeshiva University’s boys’ high school and later the university itself in New York and was ordained to the (even more liberal, by the standards of his childhood) Conservative rabbinate after training for four years at the Jewish Theological Seminary, also in New York. Eventually he earned a doctorate in philosophy at the University of Pennsylvania, in order, he said, “to see what the center of the Western World was really like.” He started writing fiction in high school, despite the fact that his fellow Hasidim regarded it “at best as a frivolity, and at worst as a menace,” as he would later put it. Talmudic scholarship was an admirable aim for a Jewish boy of Potok’s world; becoming a writer of stories was not.

Potok published his first novel in 1967, when he was thirty-eight years old. The Chosen spent over six months on the New York Times bestseller list and was a finalist for the National Book Award. Like its eventual successor Davita’s Harp, The Chosen is chiefly interested in what an observant Jewish life might look like in a modern Western context, but it comes at the matter from the other direction. Where Davita tiptoes her way into shul attendance and the study of Talmud, the protagonists of The Chosen can’t remember a time when they weren’t immersed the world of Judaism. For them, the question isn’t about how to be at home in a forbiddingly strict and insular realm of piety but about how to embody their devotion to it within a wider secular culture that has little use for it – and how to allow that world’s ideals to challenge the way they practice their Judaism, too.

In The Chosen, Danny Saunders is the son of his tight-knit Brooklyn community’s formidable rebbe, which in the Hasidic tradition means he is also his father’s designated successor. In high school, however, he secretly studies Sigmund Freud and yearns for graduate studies in psychology. The tension between his Hasidic identity and his apparent destiny on the one hand, and his burgeoning thirst for secular learning on the other, is unrelieved throughout most of the novel. At the climax, we see Danny refuse the choice: he will go on to become a psychologist, studying among the goyim, but he will remain an observer of the commandments, albeit not as a rabbi.

A religiously observant life is less and less accessible to modern Westerners, yet many of us remain haunted by its possibility.

The same tension animates all of Potok’s best novels. In his second, The Promise, Reuven Malter is studying at an Orthodox rabbinical school under the watchful and forbidding ministrations of Rav Kalman, a Holocaust survivor who views Reuven’s father’s secular Zionism and historical-critical interpretations of the Talmud with suspicion and fear, and who watches for, and prepares to stifle, signs of their influence on Reuven. As Reuven begins to prepare for his ordination exams, Rav Kalman urges him away from modern critical approaches to the sacred page. One of the novel’s most thrilling scenes is Reuven’s oral examination. For anyone who has studied Jewish or Christian scripture in their original Hebrew and Greek, and who has pored over commentaries on both, as I have, it is hard to overstate how well Potok manages to evoke the tingling excitement a student can experience when performing a close reading of a text. At one point during Reuven’s examination Rav Kalman draws his attention to a passage from the Mishnah, the second-century CE collection of the so-called “Oral Torah,” part of the rabbinic tradition of Talmudic interpretation. Here is how Reuven, called upon to explain the passage, describes the scene:

It was one of the passages I had been waiting for. There were others like it scattered all through the Talmud. Sooner or later I would have managed to steer us onto one, or we would have come across one by ourselves. Now I was in it and explaining it and knowing exactly what words I would use and seeing it all half a dozen steps in advance like a chess game.

The scene climaxes with Reuven’s rabbinical examiners listening open-mouthed as Reuven demonstrates his mastery of the Talmud as well as of modern critical approaches to its study, even as he declares that he will remain an observant Jew and protect the sanctity of the Pentateuch as divinely given.

In the Beginning, published six years after The Promise, goes even further into the territory of modern critical study. Its protagonist, David Lurie, a yeshiva student, tells his father that not only does he want to know about modern critical approaches to Talmud, he also wants to see how secular university researchers and lecturers apply them to scripture itself. His father responds, “Tell me what it means to study Bible in a university. Your teachers will be goyim?” David says there will be Jews at the university too, though not all will be observant. “How can a goy who believes in Jesus or in nothing teach a Jew the Torah? How can a sinful Jew teach the Torah?” his father retorts. But David, like Reuven Malter, refuses to accept his father’s presumption that critical study of the Bible and an observant Jewish life must necessarily be in conflict. In a moving moment, one generous rabbi offers private encouragement to David not to shy back from the university but to bring the fruits of his learning back to his Orthodox community afterwards:

Lurie, if the Torah cannot go out into your world of scholarship and return stronger, then we are all fools and charlatans. I have faith in the Torah. I am not afraid of truth.… I want to know if the religious world view has any meaning today. Bring yourself back an answer to that, Lurie. Take apart the Bible and see if it is something more today than the Iliad and the Odyssey. Bring yourself back that answer, Lurie.

In what is for me Potok’s most disturbingly powerful achievement of all, his third novel, My Name Is Asher Lev, we meet another young Brooklyn Hasid, the son of inspiringly just and devout parents, this one with a gift for art. Through his adolescence, Asher Lev devotes all his attention to drawing and painting, to the bafflement and then to the hurt and angry bewilderment of his family and wider Orthodox community. Several years later, after he gains notoriety as an artist, Asher is driven to try to depict the pain he had watched on his mother’s face as she parented him alone while his father traveled the world at the rebbe’s request, rescuing persecuted Jews. Asher had watched her standing in pain astride the gap between her devout, traditionalist husband and the defiant son who could never understand – or be understood by – his father. What other symbol could possibly suffice for this depiction, Asher asks himself, than the form of the cross, the same symbol under which the Jews his father spent his life rescuing were driven from their homes and killed in pogroms? When Asher’s parents attend his show at a prominent New York gallery, Asher watches in agony as his father glimpses his final two paintings, Brooklyn Crucifixion I and II, in which his mother occupies the center, “tied to the vertical and horizontal lines.”

Then my father moved toward the paintings. I saw him bend to read the titles. His shoulders stiffened. Then he saw the name of the museum that had purchased the paintings. He straightened slowly. He turned and looked at me. His face wore an expression of awe and rage and bewilderment and sadness, all at the same time.… Who are you? the expression said. Are you really my son?… He did not speak to me.

Like Potok’s characters Danny Saunders and David Lurie, Asher Lev is compelled to venture beyond the confines of his father’s carefully circumscribed world, but he does so without abandoning his Judaism. He cannot be a Hasid, but he chooses to remain an observer of the commandments.

One of Potok’s sharpest and most sympathetic critics, Daniel Walden, founder of the Jewish Studies Program at Penn State, says that every Potok novel always circles around two basic questions: “1) how to live as an observant Jew in a secular society, and 2) to what degree [one can] hold to the tradition of Orthodox separateness in a secular society.” I think that is true as far as it goes, but Potok’s best novels (with Davita’s Harp the exception, as I earlier hinted) probe what it means to “hold” to tradition in a new, changed way. Potok’s Hasidic protagonists never give up Jewish observance, but they do, all of them, practice their Judaism in a way that represents a genuine break with their past understandings and practices of it. The Hebrew Bible scholar Jon Levenson, from his perspective as an observant Jew who teaches at Harvard, has remarked on the ability of some religious scholars, Jews and Christians alike, to hold together their use of modern critical biblical studies with an ongoing faith in their inherited religious traditions. In this way, Levenson says, using Ricoeur’s phrase, “the ‘second naiveté’ of those touched by historical criticism is to be distinguished from the innocence of the orthodox believer who has never become aware of the historical context and who does not feel the claim of historical investigation.” The novels of Chaim Potok dramatize young Jews finding their way to forms of Jewish life they wish to hold on to – their “second naiveté” – but at the real cost of leaving behind their former innocence and shocking or even alienating their communities of origin in the process.

It is this aspect of Potok’s work – his portrayal of young religious fundamentalists who are confronting modernity and negotiating their tradition in the process – that I think explains my initial enthrallment with his novels when I discovered them in my early twenties. There was, at first, a shock of recognition: I, a Gentile and an Evangelical Christian, knew something of what it was like to grow up in Potok’s world. The theorist and professor Michael Warner has spoken of the Pentecostal church culture of his childhood as a “profoundly hermeneutic” one: “Where I come from, people lose sleep over the meanings of certain Greek and Hebrew words. … Being a literary critic is nice, I have to say, but for lip-whitening, vein-popping thrills it doesn’t compete. Not even in the headier regions of Theory can we approximate that saturation of life by argument” – by ongoing contestation, that is, of the sentences and paragraphs of Scripture.

That captures my childhood church and family culture too, perfectly, and to this day I haven’t lost the conviction that when one is reading the Bible, the stakes are high. The agonies and desperations of Potok’s characters are instantly recognizable to me. (“Even though the faith Potok writes of is orthodox or Hasidic Judaism, Evangelical readers [and there are many] find themselves understanding and empathizing with the conflicts he presents,” wrote Cheryl Forbes in Christianity Today in 1978.)

Potok’s best novels probe what it means to “hold” to tradition in a new, changed way.

I was also drawn to the extraordinary depictions of friendship between young men in Potok. Daniel Walden says that the friendship Danny Saunders and Reuven Malter enjoy in The Chosen is “a kind of love story,” which I take to be a clumsy effort to sum up the way their relationship isn’t romantic and yet is obviously much more intimate than what one often encounters in similar portrayals – or in real life, for that matter. Daniel Boyarin, professor of Talmudic cultures at Berkeley, has made the case that “Judaism provides exempla for another kind of masculinity, one in which men do not manifest ‘a deeply rooted concern about the possible meanings of dependence on other males.’” Potok’s novels themselves provide some of these exempla, as their male characters confide their secrets in one another, confess to each other their insecurities and ambitions, and at times weep with or in front of each other. In my post-college years of loneliness, angst, and longing for male friendship, I found this aspect of Potok’s novels almost unbearably poignant.

But their primary source of power for me comes from their dramatization of the quest to retain one’s childhood faith in a new, altered form. I recall taking courses in the Hebrew text of the Old Testament and the Greek text of the New Testament at a conservative Christian college and learning, for the first time, about biblical criticism. I learned about what textual critics call variants – differences in wording and syntax of biblical verses that appear in various extant manuscripts, forcing translators to choose which ones they think are best supported over others they find less likely to be original. I was forced to grapple with tensions within the canonical texts that I had never noticed before. Mark 10:46, for example, says: “And as he [Jesus] was leaving Jericho with his disciples and a great crowd, Bartimaeus, a blind beggar, was sitting by the roadside.” But in Luke’s version (18:35), Jesus notices the blind beggar as he arrives at Jericho. Matthew’s Gospel has Judas committing suicide by hanging (27:3–10), whereas the Book of Acts has him die by falling and gashing his abdomen open (1:18–19). What, I wondered, did tensions like this mean for belief in the Bible’s inerrancy – its status of being inspired, without falsehood in matters of doctrine as well as historically and scientifically accurate? Reading Potok, I met characters who lost sleep over questions like this too.

I read a lot these days about “exvangelicals” – people who had upbringings like mine who now want nothing to do with them, people who have left Evangelical Christianity behind for good, owing variously to its anti-intellectual impulses; its demand for cultural and political conformity; its tribal disdain for those deemed outsiders; its inability to self-criticize, with sometimes abusive results; or all of the above. I understand and sympathize with the “exvangelicals.” In many ways, I am one. Like Potok’s characters, I went away to university and experienced something of the wider world beyond the confines of my Baptist, Republican childhood. I now make use of historical critical tools in my biblical scholarship and seminary classroom, and I am now a member of the Episcopal Church, which, to my childhood eyes, was barely a church at all.

I can’t be the Christian I used to be, but I want still, very much, to be a Christian.

Even so, the Evangelical faith in which I was nurtured continues to beguile, inspire, and compel me in ways I am still discovering. I can’t be the Christian I used to be, but I want still, very much, to be a Christian. Potok’s characters help me understand my complicated feelings. They are not only interested in the deconstructive moment, in which childhood certainties are relinquished. They strive also for the chastened second naiveté, on the far side of the desert of criticism, that will make it possible for them to go on being faithfully Jewish.

The eighteenth-century aphorist G. C. Lichtenberg says there is “a great difference between believing something still and believing it again.” The novels of Chaim Potok show us what the latter looks like, and in doing so, make believers like me feel much less alone.

In 1976, after the publication of In the Beginning, Potok talked with interviewer Harold Ribalow. Ribalow asked, “Why do you think non-Jews read your books?” Potok replied:

What non-Jews are doing – if I can get it from the letters they are sending me – is that they are simply translating themselves into the particular context of the boys and the fathers and the mothers and the situation that I’m writing about. So instead of being a Jew, you are a Baptist; instead of being an Orthodox Jew, you are a Catholic; and the dynamic is the same. The particular words or expressions that might be used might be Jewish or what have you, but they are simply putting themselves in the place of the subculture which is clashing core to core with the umbrella culture in which we all live.

It is no accident, probably, that Potok mentions Baptists and Catholics as the closest kin to the characters in his novels. “The Hebrew Torah is,” according to Gerald Bruns, “a monumental example of a binding text; its significance lies not only in what it contains or means but also in its power over those who stand within its jurisdiction.” Just this is the situation of those Christians – like the Baptists I grew up among – whose Bible exercises supreme authority in their traditions. For any readers, then, who treat Scripture as a “binding text,” for any so-called “people of the Book,” who, by dint of historical time and circumstance, must live with others who are not so bound and who marshal weighty arguments for their freedom, the novels of Chaim Potok will go on providing guidance and solace.



"Facing Anxiety Through the Arts: Attending and Transcending" by James K.A. Smith

This article made me feel a little intimidated at first, when Smith wrote about art that transcends and referred to a bunch of artists I don't know. But as I continued to read, and especially when I looked at and read about the example he used, I ate it up.

In this age of spiritual uncertainty, we need art that connects us to the pain of this world and then points us beyond.

But not the art that is offered to us for mass consumption. Many films and novels and songs promise entertainment as an escape from what makes us anxious. But mere escape does nothing to actually address our anxiety. Our entertainments offer distraction instead of comfort; or rather, entertainment pretends distraction is comfort, as if self-medicating our way to addiction is the way to address trauma or grief. It’s no wonder, then, that the anxiety comes roaring back after we leave the cinema or finish binging the series or become bored with the latest album.

The art we need in an age of anxiety is art that faces our fears and invites us to overcome them — art that both attends to the world and transcends the world.

One of the unique powers of art is an uncanny ability to attend to what is right in front of us; to become attuned to the familiar in a strange way; to light up the mundane that our hurried busyness too often misses. You can see this in the paintings of Vermeer or Alfonso Cuarón’s remarkable film, Roma. You can see it in the poetry of Gerard Manley Hopkins and Joy Harjo. Such art teaches us to slow down and see. The arts attend to the world in such a way that we see it from a new slant. And that angle of attention can be revelatory, calling forth sometimes gratitude, sometimes grief, often both, and perhaps a renewed sense of what our society needs from us.

Art is especially adept at showing us beauty and brokenness. Seeing both is necessary for a meaningful life — and therein lies our calling. Frederick Buechner once said, “The place to which God calls you is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.” Art can often take us to that intersection by showing us the familiar anew. In other words, the arts help us hear our calling, giving us a sense of purpose in an uncertain world.

Attending to what’s wrong — what we’d rather not see — is the beginning of how art also invites us to transcend our moment, and even ourselves. By “transcend,” I mean that the arts attest to the fullness of our humanity and our ineffaceable longing for something more. This transcending is not escapism by other means because you only come to it by working through attention to our broken world.

Such art functions a bit like the prophets and psalmists of old who mastered the discipline of “lament.” Lamentis pitched at this intersection of attention and transcendence — attending to what’s wrong with the world and hoping for it to be otherwise. Such art isn’t simply “protest;” it is art infused with an imagination for how the world could be otherwise. Art that laments also “transcends” by getting us to hope, lifting our anger and grief to another horizon.

Some of our best art, even if it isn’t explicitly religious, nonetheless embodies what, in theology, we call “eschatology”—art that longs for another world, points to a “kingdom come,” hopes for the inbreaking of something new. But this eschatological art laments, it rages against the injustices of might, because it attends to what’s wrong with this world. A wilderness precedes every promised land.

Consider, for example, this work called “Sugar and Spice,” part of Letitia Huckaby’s “Suffrage Project.” A young African-American girl looks despondent. Her protest sign, “Enough!” resting on her shoulder is its own version of “How long, O Lord?” The print appears on a vintage cotton-picking sack, and once you realize that, an entire history of oppression and marginalization creeps up from your gut, up your spine, into your heart, halting at a lump in your throat. You don’t need it to reach your mind; you now “know” something you didn’t know before.

And yet that gentle pastel pink skirt evokes a ballerina’s tutu, and the image births in us a longing to see this young girl dance, to see her despondency turn to joy, to trade the now-necessary sign of protest for a banner of praise.

Prophetic art that inhabits this tension of lament and hope does not only communicate a “message;” it enacts what it embodies, it performs this transformation of mourning into dancing. Lament without hope is merely anger; hope without lament is a lie about the present. Art that is prophetic, that both laments and hopes, will be a unique offering to a heartbroken world that has forgotten to sing such songs. The arts breathe life when they help a society remember how to sing such music.

During this pandemic, my son and I re-read Camus’ famous novel, The Plague. The passage that struck me most powerfully was a scene in which Dr. Rieux and Tarrou, exhausted by their work on the front lines of the plague, nonetheless steal away for a swim in the Mediterranean Sea. The narrator tells us that “a strange happiness possessed him. Turning to Tarrou, he caught a glimpse on his friend’s face of the same happiness, a happiness that forgot nothing.” The arts enable us to transcend the tragic when they invite us into a joy that forgets nothing.

James K.A. Smith is professor of philosophy at Calvin University and serves as editor-in-chief of Image, a quarterly journal at the intersection of art, faith, and mystery. His most recent book is On the Road with Saint Augustine.

This essay is part of a series called “Finding Faith in the Age of Anxiety.” It explores solutions that faith offers in countering the troubles of our time. Perspectives from various religious traditions are represented.

Friday, July 17, 2020

One Long River of Song: Notes on Wonder by Brian Doyle


During this pandemic, I have not felt up to reading anything new. I have only been rereading two series of mysteries, one by Louise Penny and the other by Faye Kellerman. However, we just got back from a trip to Lynden, WA, and the first day there, I met my sister in Village Books, a wonderful bookstore in downtown Lynden. I saw this book, One Long River of Song: Notes on Wonder by Brian Doyle, and remembered I had heard other authors speak glowingly of Brian Doyle, so I bought it.

It is one of the best books I've ever read! The book is a collection of Doyle's essays. Some are only a page or page and a half long, some are several pages. I devoured every one of them. Then I reread them. Then I read them aloud to my husband and daughter. Then I went on Amazon and put every book he wrote into my shopping cart, but went through and marked some "Save for later" because it was too much. I'm trying to limit the number of books in my library, but I keep discovering amazing authors, and I want them around me.

In the foreword, David James Duncan quotes Pico Iyer, who said:
Almost nobody has written with the joy, the galloping energy, the quiet love of conscience and family and what's best in us, the living optimism.
"Galloping energy" is right. Many times I pictured the words in his sentences galloping and crowding and bumping into each other like beagles running and tripping over their long ears, full of joy, breathless to say what is tumbling out of his mind.

Here is an example from an essay named "Illuminos," about his 3 children (a daughter and twin boys).
The third child held hands happily all the time, either hand, any hand, my hands, his mother's hands, his brother's hands, his sister's hands, his friends, aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents and teachers, dogs and trees, neighbors and bushes, he would hold hands with any living creature whatsoever, without the slightest trepidation or self-consciousness, and to this day I admire that boy's open genuine eager unadorned verve. He once held hands with his best friend during an entire soccer game when they were five years old, the two of them running in tandem, or one starting in one direction unbeknownst to the other and down they both went giggling in the sprawl of the grass. It seems to me that angels and bodhisattvas are everywhere available for consultation if only we can see them clear; they are unadorned, and joyous, and patient, and radiant, and luminous, and not disguised or hidden or filtered in any way whatsoever, so that if you see them clearly, which happens occasionally even to the most blinkered and frightened of us, you realize immediately who they are, beings of great and humble illumination dressed in the skins of new and dewy beings, and you realize, with a catch in your throat, that they are your teachers, and they are agents of an unimaginable love, and they are your cousins and companions in awe, and they are miracles and prayers and songs of inexplicable beauty whom no one can explain and no one own or claim or trammel, and that simply to perceive them is to be blessed beyond the reach of language, and that to be the one appointed to tow them along a beach, or a crowd, or home through the brilliant morning from the muddy hilarious peewee soccer game is to be graced beyond measure or understanding; which is what I was, and I am, and I will be, until the day I die, and change form from this one to another, in ways miraculous and mysterious, never to be plumbed by the mind or measures of man.
(By the way, did you wonder, as I did, what "bodhisattvas" are? According to the interwebs, they are: In Mahayana Buddhism, a person who is able to reach nirvana but delays doing so out of compassion in order to save suffering beings. That made me laugh, to think of little kids being persons who could reach nirvana but were sticking around to help the rest of us.)

Our modern poet-saint, Mary Oliver, said of Brian Doyle's essays, "They were all favorites." True! It makes it hard to write or talk about this book and say why I like it. It makes it hard to decide what to write as an example or read out loud to someone. How can I choose?! Some crack you up, some choke you up, some make you stop, reread and ponder, some make you feel what awe feels like. The subtitle is "Notes on Wonder." I think wonder includes all of these -- the laughter, the tears, the pause, the awe.

One of the essays that cracked me up is named "20 Things the Dog Ate." I wish I could quote all 20 for you, but I have chosen two.
1. Ancient Squashed Dried Round of Flat Shard of Beaver
Sweet mother of the mewling baby Jesus! You wouldn't think a creature that likes to watch Peter O'Toole movies would be such an omnivorous gobbling machine, but he has eaten everything from wasps to the back half of a raccoon. And let us not ignore the beaver. Speculation is that beaver was washed up onto road when overflowing lake blew its dam, was squashed by a truck, got flattened ten thousand times more, then summer dried it out hard and flat as a manhole cover, and the dog somehow pried it up, leaving only beaver oil on the road, and ate it. Sure, he barfed later. Wouldn't you?
4. Yellow Jacket Wasps
Every summer. Even though he gets stung again and again in the nether reaches of his mouth and throat and jumps up whirling around in such a manner that we laugh so hard we have to pee. He cannot resist snapping them out of the air as if they were bright bits of candy, then making high plaintive sounds like a country singer on laughing gas. I have to pee.
I could go on and on. My heart and soul have been lifted by this book. It's become trite to say that something is perfect "for these strange times we are in." Still, I do think this book is a good one for this coronatide, with the pandemic on top of the huge reckoning we are going through regarding our racial relations. This book touches you and takes you deep, but it's a pick-up-and-put-down-er-of-a-book. The essays are short, so it's easy to read one or two and come back to it later.

I am so sorry that I never got to see or hear Brian Doyle in person. He died in 2016 of complications from a brain tumor. He was a devout Catholic who also, according to his friend David James Duncan, "sometimes audaciously, challenged his tradition." Like the Jesuits teach, and my Reformed doctrine emphasizes, he personifies seeing God in everything, recognizing that "there is not a square inch in the whole domain of our human existence over which Christ, who is Sovereign over all, does not cry: 'Mine! '" (Abraham Kuyper). But there is not even a tiny echo of preaching. He hardly mentions the word God (although there is one essay called "God Again," where he writes about a US Post Office clerk, "God was manning the counter from one to five, as he does every blessed day. He actually says every blessed day and he means it. You never saw a more patient being.")

I have read often that many of us are in a meaning crisis, unable to figure out a purpose in life. I will end with an excerpt from "The Final Frontier." May we all reach it - "humility, the final frontier."
Of course you do your absolute best to find and hone and wield your divine gifts against the dark. You do your best to reach out tenderly to touch and elevate as many people as you can reach. You bring your naked love and defiant courage and salty grace to bear as much as you can, with all the attentiveness and humor you can muster. This life after all a miracle and we ought to pay fierce attention every moment, as much as possible.
But you can not control anything. You cannot order or command everything. You cannot fix and repair everything. You cannot protect your children from pain and loss and tragedy and illness. You cannot be sure you will always be married, let alone happily married. You cannot be sure you will always be employed, or healthy, or relatively sane.
All you can do is face the world with quiet grace and hope you make a sliver of difference. Humility does not mean self-abnegation, lassitude, detachment; it’s more calm recognition that you must trust in that which does not make sense, that which is unreasonable, illogical, silly, ridiculous, crazy by the measure of most of our culture. You must trust the you being the best possible you matters somehow. That trying to be an honest and tender parent will echo for centuries through your tribe. That doing your chosen work with creativity and diligence will shiver people far beyond your ken. That being an attentive and generous friend and citizen will prevent a thread or two of the social fabric from unraveling. And you must do all of this with the certain knowledge that you will never get proper credit for it, and in fact the vast majority of things you do right will go utterly unremarked. Humility, the final frontier, as my brother Kevin used to say. When we are young we build a self, a persona, a story in which to reside, or several selves in succession, or several at once, sometimes; when we are older we take on other roles and personas, other masks and duties; and you and I both know men and women who become trapped in the selves they worked so hard to build, so desperately imprisoned that sometimes they smash their lives simply to escape who they no longer wish to be; but finally, I think, if we are lucky, if we read the book of pain and loss with humility, we realize that we are all broken and small and brief, that none amongst us is ultimately more vulnerable or rich or famous or beautiful that another; and then, perhaps, we begin to understand something deep and true about humility.
That is what I know: that the small is huge, that the tiny is vast, that pain is part and parcel of the gift of joy, and that this is love, and then there is everything else. You either walk toward love or away from it with every breath you draw. Humility is the road to love. Humility, maybe, is love. That could be. I wouldn’t know; I’m a muddle and a conundrum shuffling slowly along the road, gaping in wonder, trying to see and say what is, trying to leave shreds and shards of ego along the road like wisps of litter and chaff.
 "All you can do is face the world with quiet grace and hope you make a sliver of difference." As Brian would say, And so: Amen.

Thursday, July 16, 2020

World, where does it hurt?



I read the last part of this poem to my church on the Sunday after 9/11. It feels pretty appropriate now, too.

i held an atlas in my lap
ran my fingers across the whole world
and whispered
where does it hurt?
it answered
everywhere
everywhere
everywhere.


what they did yesterday afternoon
– Warsan Shire

they set my aunts house on fire
i cried the way women on tv do
folding at the middle
like a five pound note.
i called the boy who used to love me
tried to ‘okay’ my voice
i said hello
he said warsan, what’s wrong, what’s happened?
i’ve been praying,
and these are what my prayers look like;
dear god
i come from two countries
one is thirsty
the other is on fire
both need water.

later that night
i held an atlas in my lap
ran my fingers across the whole world
and whispered
where does it hurt?
it answered
everywhere
everywhere
everywhere.

Thursday, June 25, 2020

Some resources on racism


With all the focus on racism, there are many discussions and resources being published about racism and white supremacy. These are a few that have been helpful to me.

Wilhelm Verwoerd on The Confessional podcast. This one really struck home to me. Wilhelm Verwoerd is a South African whose grandfather was the prime minister during apartheid. He grew up in the Dutch Reformed Church, which is a "sister church" of my denomination, the Christian Reformed Church in North America. Of course, we in the US do not have apartheid and all the violence

Hearing Wilhelm speak with his South African/Dutch accent struck a chord of familiarity. My denomination has many Dutch immigrants in it and my own local church has a family that came from South Africa as well as several 1st generation Dutch immigrants. That accent is both familiar and beloved to me.

At one point he talks about the way anti-communism played into their beliefs and actions:
...we were also very much influenced by the Cold War anti-communist rhetoric. So in these church gatherings and when we would go out and do things, we would also be very conscious of preaching anti-communism because people were saying that the African National Congress, you know, former President Mandela’s political party, they were really not liberation fighters. They were terrorists. You know, they were communist-inspired terrorists...
This also resonated with me, as I hear people talking about Black Lives Matter being Marxist. 

It sounds as if Wilhelm has stayed in the church and kept his faith. I know Nadia has as well. I am glad of that. I also liked what he said about not being overwhelmed by guilt -- and that his fellow South Africans who are black tell him not to:
We’re not asking you to reject the color of your skin. You cannot. Even your culture, we’re not asking you to turn into some kind of gray nobody South African. That’s not what we are against. What we’re against is what those policies stand for and what they did to us. And we’re asking you to become part of changing that. Use who you are to become part of the liberation of all of us. And that invitation was the critical moment to say, yes, there is this painful truth, but I don’t have to go and hide in a corner. I don’t have to be overwhelmed by the sense of guilt and shame.
His reference to the Black Christ painting by Ronald Harrison is moving and remarkable. You can see why he says that when South Africans see his skin color (white), hear his accent, and then his surname--the name of his grandfather who was prime minister--, it brings a lot into the room before he even opens his mouth. In the painting, the model for the Black Christ was an African National Congress president, and the centurion piercing Christ's side is Wilhelm's grandfather.

from Business & Arts South Africa, "Ronald Harrison Paintings at Luthuli Museum."


Krista Tippett: Mindfulness in Uncertain Times, Commonwealth. I watched this live and my question was the first one they read during the Q & A!

A Conversation with Lorna Goodison, Padraig O'Tuama, Image Journal.

'I Cannot Sell You This Painting.' Artist Titus Kaphar on his George Floyd TIME Cover


A Facebook post by Mike Van Denend, previous Director of Alumni at Calvin University:

It certainly has been a week--of shock, of sorrow, of anger, of confusion. Many of you have written passionate words and passed on thoughtful articles. My Facebook Universe is a diverse lot, from all corners of the globe, faiths and the political spectrum. Thank you for educating me.

I think best on long bike rides in God's amazing creation, and today these reflections came as I think about what's happened since George Floyd's horrific death in Minneapolis.

1. Tragedy and Grief. George Floyd was a child of God. It doesn't matter what his life was like before he was killed. Jesus knew his name and he was a sinner saved by grace, like you, like me. So if you begin by reciting Mr. Floyd's past, you've already tipped your hand. It doesn't matter. No one deserves to die in such an awful manner. No one.

2. Black Lives Matter NOW. The African-American community is in particular grief at this moment and to sorrow and console and demand better with them is right and just. This does not mean that other lives matter less or do not matter. That's a pointless diversion. Hopefully, you don't go to a funeral home and bend the ear of the grieving widow about your pain and loss. Right now, at this time, our black brothers and sisters need assurance, consolation and some hope for change.

3. Internalization. And why might #2 be so true? I owe a lot to a piece written recently by Radley Balko and to the stories from African-American friends. White people can view the ghastly video of Mr. Floyd's death and be shocked, but perhaps not psychologically seared; they can compartmentalize the death. Most black people cannot do so--it is internalized. "That could be me or a loved one," is a much more a likely response. They can visualize this actually happening to someone close. A very big difference and it produces a very big grief.

4. History. Since racism is burned deeply into the American story, there's every reason for persons of color to worry about an awful manifestation of this sin harming them in some way. And there's a weariness here. It's been going on for a long, long time. Pick your date: 1965, 1865, 1619, whichever. When I hear someone tell me of the "progress" that's been made, the death of Mr. Floyd underscores that the steps forward are only the start of a long march to justice. The film of Bryan Stevenson's stellar book "Just Mercy" is streaming for free now. Watch it.

5. Power and Responsibility. Police officers have a challenging job and many do their work well. But if you are given power (badge, gun, law behind you), you have ten-fold the responsibility not to abuse your power. Same for pastors, politicians, judges--anyone who takes a pledge or oath of office. That's what makes this death all the more heinous. This was not the same as "black-on-black" or any other kind of crime category you want to set up as a false equivalent. This kind of violence is abhorrent; violent behavior from a person expected to act in the public trust adds another layer of condemnation.

6. Take Specific Action! President Obama suggested that every Mayor of every American city should seize this moment and review their use-of-force protocols. That's a good place to start. Every Mayor: That means the Mayors of Grand Rapids, Holland and Kalamazoo as well as the Mayors of Minneapolis and Chicago and other big cities. Yes, even the Mayor of Small Town, USA. And while we're at it, let's review the way these violent cases are handled by the police, unions, cities and officials. Eight minutes and 46 seconds. That is a long time to be pressing your knee into someone else's neck. Why do you think the officer thought he could do such a thing and not worry about the consequences? Because, without the video, there wouldn't have been any.

7. Violence in the Protests. Violence against anyone is wrong and wanton destruction and looting is obviously a crime. No argument. It is interesting to note that where police, sheriffs and other officials make a real effort at listening and showing empathy, this kind of behavior is diffused.

8. Compassion. Up to today, my only post on Mr. Floyd's tragic death was a quote about compassion. I still think that's a very important first step. If compassion is "the capacity to feel what it's like to live inside someone else's skin," let that be our personal challenge, especially skin that's a different color than our own.

We must enter the Kingdom of God through much sorrow.

A beautiful reflection by Jeff Chu on "Wir müssen durch viel Trübsal in das Reich Gottes eingehen," which translates to "We must enter the Kingdom of God through much sorrow."
https://jeffchu.substack.com/p/we-must-go-through-many-troubles

The reflection includes a link to the cantata sung by the Netherlands Bach Society.

I also found a translation of the words, and have included that in the text below.

We Must Go Through Many Troubles

Some fragmented thoughts on a Bach cantata.

The 24th Day after Coronatide*
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Greetings, friend.
It might seem strange that I tell you, at the top of every letter, that I’m writing from Grand Rapids, Michigan. I’m always writing from Grand Rapids, Michigan. It’s partly a pretentious thing: I love those old letters, scrawled in ink, where the writer tells you she’s writing from Bergamo or Constantinople or the Argentine. It’s also partly hope. One day, I will write you a letter from somewhere other than Grand Rapids, Michigan, because we will be able to travel again.
I need that vain hope right now. It’s been a tough couple of weeks, and maybe I’ll write another time about precisely why. For now, though: I was thinking the other day about Bach and a cantata I heard a few years ago. (Yes, I’m a weirdo. I’d say caveat lector, but it’s too late for that. You already knew I was strange from the previous paragraph, many of you knew even before, and still, you kept reading.)
Three springs ago, when we could still travel, I went to Leipzig, Germany, on assignment for Travel+Leisure magazine. The story’s marching orders had something to do with hipsters and visual artists and low rents and edgy neighborhoods. (You can read the story here.) Shockingly, my editors didn’t particularly care that it was the 500th anniversary of the Protestant Reformation. Nor were they all that interested in what I really wanted to do in Leipzig: I wanted to hear Bach.
The Saturday-afternoon motet at the Thomaskirche is one of the world’s great bargains: two euros for a 75-minute performance that usually features both the Thomanerchor, the famed boys’ choir that has been singing for eight centuries, and a small ensemble of the Gewandhaus, one of the world’s oldest and best orchestras. When I asked an usher whether I was in the right place for the Bach concert, he stiffened and hissed a five-word rebuke: “It is a worship service.” 
The service took place in the same 15th-century Gothic church in which Bach, as kapellmeister for 27 years, had come alongside the congregation musically Sunday after Sunday. He wrote for this space—or maybe it’s better to say for the people of God gathered in this space. I wonder: How did those worshippers hear it? Though we treasure Bach’s music, it bears remembering that prominent critics of his day described his work as “turgid,” “artificial,” and “confused in its style.”
The Thomaskirche just before the concert that was not a concert
The service that day began with a movement of a Mendelssohn organ sonata and a sweet choral motet by the 17th century composer Heinrich Schütz (I’d never heard of him) based on the “true vine” metaphor from John’s Gospel. But I was really there for the Bach.
Like many obedient Chinese American kids, I grew up taking music lessons—in my case, 13 years of piano, 12 of violin, and three of viola. Bach was core to my musical education. On the piano, there were the two-part inventions; on the violin, minuets, gavottes, a bourrée, and the Bach Double—his Concerto in D minor for two violins, which every Suzuki kid who endured through Book Four had to learn. To this day, anytime I hear the Bach Double’s first six notes, my left hand automatically starts twitching the fingerings for that quick upward sprint from the open D string.
I don’t play music much anymore. When I went to college, I shelved my violin; I didn’t think I was good enough to sit alongside kids who had been much more diligent about practicing. Once in a while, if I’m at my parents’ house or maybe in a church sanctuary when nobody else is around, I might be brave enough to sit at the piano and plunk something out. Deep within me, I know the music isn’t done. 
It’s remarkable how, through his compositions, Bach could preach. Even now, it only takes a few bars of Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring for me to feel enfolded in the strings’ gentle, lilting embrace, an orchestral representation of Christ’s love for humanity. 
At the Thomaskirche that day, the main cantata was Wir müssen durch viel Trübsal. (You can listen to the whole thing, sung by the Netherlands Bach Society.) The cantata’s first lines draw on Acts 14, which recounts the travels of Paul and Barnabas through Asia Minor. According to verse 22, after reaching Antioch, “they strengthened the disciples and urged them to remain firm in the faith. They told them, ‘If we are to enter God’s kingdom, we must go through many troubles.’”
Scripture reminds us that there’s nothing new under the sun, which might explain why some of us can find resonance in Bach’s 300-year-old compositions. None of this is to suggest that I unreservedly venerate Bach, a flawed person (yes, redundant phrasing) and a man of his times; that would be unfaithful to my Reformed view of humanity. Rather, this is about some music he left behind. I read Acts 14:22 and hear Bach’s interpretation of it as descriptive, not prescriptive. Trial and tribulation aren’t inherently redemptive, nor are suffering and persecution badges of honor; they’re realities of life in this world. They’re also not the end of our story.
Bach wrote from personal knowledge of such troubles. Though he was born into an ostensible peace more than three decades after the end of the Thirty Years’ War, it took generations for the resulting economic distress to heal, and some might argue that we’re still living the legacy of the religious wars. Christianity might have begun as a religion with an unusually wide welcome for its time, but we’ve shown again and again just how easy it is to slip into the role of spiritual bouncer—and how hard it is to say, wholeheartedly, “Welcome.” 
Bach also lived amidst a pandemic that refused a tidy end. Numerous Bach cousins succumbed to the plague, and Bach himself was orphaned at the age of 10. His sorrows continued into his adulthood. He was widowed at 35, becoming a single father to four. (Three other children had died in infancy.) After he remarried, he and his second wife had 13 more kids; only six survived childhood.
Bach’s career, too, was full of frustration. One of the only extant pieces of Bach’s correspondence records him complaining that he wasn’t making enough money to provide for his family. I also wonder whether he ever forgot that he wasn’t the first choice for the prestigious job of kapellmeister; Telemann was. He wasn’t the second or third choice either; Graupner and Fasch were. (Remember them?!) Upon hiring Bach, one Leipzig councilman said: “Since we cannot get the best, then we will have to settle for average.” (God help me to achieve someday the same level of average that Bach did.) 
The cantata’s fourth movement, a soprano recitative, especially resonates in our times:
Lord! Take note, look here,
They hate me, and have no guilt,
as if the world had the power
even to kill me;
and I live with sighs and patience
abandoned and despised,
so at my suffering they have
the greatest joy.
My God, that is difficult for me.
But Bach does not leave us abandoned and despised or wallowing in despair. By the eighth movement, we have moved to hope.
Be so joyous, o my soul,
And forget all stress and anguish,
since now Christ, your Lord,
calls you out of this valley of sorrow.
This movement’s intent is lost if you choose to listen to any one section of the cantata in isolation. This piece was meant to be journeyed through in its entirety, in worship. And I don’t believe Bach intended for his music mainly to entertain, though it could be entertaining, or to gratify, though it could be gratifying. He meant it to move, to shift, to propel. 
Bach had a copy of the Calov Bible, a three-volume edition that included commentary by both Martin Luther and the 17th-century Lutheran theologian Abraham Calov. (Bach’s copy is now held in the collection of the Concordia University Library in St. Louis, Missouri.) On the margins of the text—what wisdom can so often be found on the margins—Bach scribbled some of the only nonmusical clues we have about his personal faith. Next to 2 Chronicles 5, he wrote, “Where there is devotional music, God with his grace is always present.”
I want that to be true. And during that service, as I regarded the sanctuary from my back pew, I saw how moved people were. It’s impossible to know their stories: Had they come for a concert like I had, or were they feeling the tug of worship on a sunny Saturday afternoon? However they arrived there, as the choir sang and the orchestra played, I saw an old man in a pew near mine, tears dampening his cheeks. A middle-aged couple sat not far away, their hands interlaced, her head on his shoulder. A pair of stereotypically hipster twenty-something guys, dressed as if ready for the transcendent techno of one of Leipzig’s famed nightclubs, gazed intently at the ribbed ceiling.
At one point, everyone stood, German speakers first, so I stood with them, because if growing up in church teaches you anything, it’s how to follow a crowd. It became clear after the first words—“Vater unser...”—what was up: the Lord’s Prayer. And whatever the empirical data might show about Europe’s post-Christian existence, the anecdotal data was that these folks, young and old, German and non, knew the words. In German and English, Italian and French and Spanish, a gorgeous chorus rose throughout the congregation. Whether they believed in their hearts, I can’t tell you, but they did speak this ancient prayer with their mouths, and sometimes, we say and we pray what we’re not sure what we believe, maybe because we want to hope that some of the words are true.
I recalled the usher’s corrective: It is a worship service. I’d come for a concert; what the usher, the pastor, and Bach had offered instead was an invitation. This wasn’t for consumption; it was for participation. That’s what the best sacred music does, whether it’s a modern praise song or an old spiritual or the soundtrack of the Beyoncé Mass. Especially when we’re struggling to hold onto hope, it can point us to something beyond ourselves, remind us of a body—and bodies—beyond our own, and tell a story that’s not only grander than ours but also encompasses us.
Translation:
Cantata for Jubilate
1. Sinfonia

2. Chor

Wir müssen durch viel Trübsal in das Reich Gottes eingehen.
(Acts 14:22)
1. Sinfonia

2. Chorus

We must enter the Kingdom of God through much sorrow.
3. Arie A
Ich will nach dem Himmel zu,
Schnödes Sodom, ich und du
Sind nunmehr geschieden.
  Meines Bleibens ist nicht hier,
  Denn ich lebe doch bei dir
  Nimmermehr in Frieden.
3. Aria A
I want to go to heaven;
contemptible Sodom, you and I
are parted from now on.
  My resting-place is not here,
  since I can live with you
  nevermore in peace.
4. Rezitativ S
Ach! wer doch schon im Himmel wär!
Wie dränget mich nicht die böse Welt!
Mit Weinen steh ich auf,
Mit Weinen leg ich mich zu Bette,
Wie trüglich wird mir nachgestellt!
Herr! merke, schaue drauf,
Sie hassen mich, und ohne Schuld,
Als wenn die Welt die Macht,
Mich gar zu töten hätte;
Und leb ich denn mit Seufzen und Geduld
Verlassen und veracht',
So hat sie noch an meinem Leide
Die größte Freude.
Mein Gott, das fällt mir schwer.
Ach! wenn ich doch,
Mein Jesu, heute noch
Bei dir im Himmel wär!
4. Recitative S
Ah! if I were only in heaven!
In what way am I not oppressed by the evil world!
I awake in tears,
in tears I lay down in my bed,
how deceitfully am I assailed!
Lord! Take note, look here,
they hate me, though guiltless,
as if the world had the power
even to put me to death;
while I live with sighs and patience
abandoned and scorned,
even at my suffering they have
the greatest joy.
My God, this lays heavily upon me.
Alas! if only,
my Jesus, even today
I were with You in heaven!
5. Arie S
Ich säe meine Zähren
Mit bangem Herzen aus.
Jedoch mein Herzeleid
Wird mir die Herrlichkeit
Am Tage der seligen Ernte gebären.
5. Aria S
I sow my tears
with an anxious heart.
However my heart's sorrow
will become glory for me
on the day the blessed sheaves are harvested.
6. Rezitativ T
Ich bin bereit,
Mein Kreuz geduldig zu ertragen;
Ich weiß, daß alle meine Plagen
Nicht wert der Herrlichkeit,
Die Gott an den erwählten Scharen
Und auch an mir wird offenbaren.
Jetzt wein ich, da das Weltgetümmel
Bei meinem Jammer fröhlich scheint.
Bald kommt die Zeit,
Da sich mein Herz erfreut,
Und da die Welt einst ohne Tröster weint.
Wer mit dem Feinde ringt und schlägt,
Dem wird die Krone beigelegt;
Denn Gott trägt keinen nicht mit Händen in dem Himmel.
6. Recitative T
I am ready
to bear my Cross patiently;
I know that all my troubles
are not equal to the glory
that God will reveal to the chosen flock
and even to me.
Now I weep, since the turmoil of the world
seems joyful next to my suffering.
Soon the time will come
when my heart will rejoice,
and when the world one day will weep without comfort.
Whoever strives and battles with the enemy,
will have the crown placed upon him;
for God carries no one to heaven in His hands.
7. Arie (Duett) T B
Wie will ich mich freuen, wie will ich mich laben,
Wenn alle vergängliche Trübsal vorbei!
  Da glänz ich wie Sterne und leuchte wie   Sonne,
  Da störet die himmlische selige Wonne
  Kein Trauern, Heulen und Geschrei.
7. Aria (Duet) T B
How I will rejoice, how I will delight,
when all mortal sorrows are over!
  There I will shine like a star and glow like the   sun,
  then the divine, blessed joy will be destroyed
  by no sorrow, moan or shriek.
8. Choral
Freu dich sehr, o meine Seele,
Und vergiß all Not und Qual,
Weil dich nun Christus, dein Herre,
Ruft aus diesem Jammertal!
Aus Trübsal und großem Leid
sollst du fahren in die Freud
die kein Ohre hat gehöret
und in Ewigkeit auch währt.
8. Chorale
Rejoice greatly, o my soul,
and forget all stress and anguish,
since now Christ, your Lord,
calls you out of this valley of sorrow!
Out of trouble and great distress
you shall journey into such joy
that no ear has ever heard,
and that lasts throughout eternity.
Acts 14:22 (mov't. 2); "Freu dich sehr, o meine Seele," last verse: Freiburg 1620 (mov't. 8)
©Pamela Dellal