The book is divided into 7 sections, for 7 sacraments: Baptism, Confesion, Holy Orders, Communion, Confirmation, Anointing of the Sick, and Marriage.
In the prologue, Rachel talks of how "religious folk have always had it out for us night owls." I am not a night owl myself, but my daughter is and I thought of her as I read, "'...At the break of light it [the Church] rememebers the morning on which death and sin lay prostrated in defeat and new life and salvation were given to mankind.' This comes as unfortunate news for someone like me who can barely remember who she is at the 'break of light,' much less ponder the theological implications of the resurrection...No doubt I would have shooed poor Mary Magdalene away with a soft, pillow-muffled grunt had she asked me to help her bring the burial spices to the tomb that fateful morning two thousand years ago. I'd have slept right through the Main Event."
Later, still in the prologue, she writes about some reasons she feels people are leaving the church: "We don't want to choose between science and religion and between our intellectual integrit and our faith...When our gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender friends aren't welcome at the table, then we don't feel welcome either..."
My own theory about why people aren't coming to church goes beyond what the church has or has not to offer. That's definitely a factor. But I feel, actually it's more practical than that -- they don't feel like setting the alarm on a weekend day and having to get up, get dressed, and go somewhere. But that's a whole different subject I won't go into right now.
The subtitle of this book is "loving, leaving, and finding the church." A big part of Held Evans' life story is that she grew up in an evangelistic church her father pastored, was very gung-ho, excelling in the Biblical pursuits espoused by the church, and believing wholeheartedly everything taught there. Then as she grew older and started being exposed through books and life to many other types of beliefs and conflicting values, she started to wonder and doubt about the teachings of the evangelistic church.
This book talks of leaving the evangelical tradition and looking for a church she felt better matched her beliefs, yet also coming to terms with the evangelical church that is her heritage, and even realizing she loved that history and needed it.
A great quote from the baptism chapter: "The good news is you are a beloved child of God; the bad news is you don't get to choose your siblings." So funny because it's so true.
Held Evans talks in this chapter about the feeling that you are not fit for church membership until you've conquered your "demons" -- the sin in your hearts. She writes: "demons are as real as the competing identities that seek to possess us. But rather than casting them out of our churches, we tend to invite them in, where they tell us we'll be children of God when
- we beat the addiction.
- we sign the doctrinal statement
- we help with the children's ministry
- we get our act together.
- we tithe.
- we play by the rules.
- we believe without doubt.
- we are married.
- we are straight.
- we are religious.
- we are good."
I had not thought of sin or demons that way. I know there is sin in the world and in our hearts. I just hadn't thought of them in such a concrete way, as devils or demons.
And, "...sometimes I think what the church needs most is to recover some of its weird...In the ritual of baptism, our ancestors acted out the bizarre truth of the Christian identity: We are people who stand totally exposed before evil and death and declare them powerless against love. There's nothing normal about that."
Rachel writes about doubt coming in to her life, "like an invasive species, like kudzu trellising the bran: What if none of this is true? What if it's all one big lie?" I can related to this kind of doubt. Over the years I would periodically go into a kind of season of doubt. Now, though, I am usually successful in avoiding those seasons. I was in a doubting season when I heard that my brother had ALS. I decided then that I did not want to think any more about doubt; that I would believe like a child. It was and is basically mind control. When those kinds of thoughts start sneaking into my brain, I start thinking about other things. For this situation, I usually start thinking about my blessings and all the things I believe without doubt.
In another place in this book, Held Evans says, "people bond more deeply over shared brokenness than they do over shared beliefs." That struck me as true. It is in her chapter nine, called "Dirty Laundry." I know we shouldn't try to present a perfect church face to the world, however there definitely have been times where I felt that, even if I was inclined to invite someone to my church, I could not do it because I was too afraid they'd find out my church (at that time) did not let women be elders or ministers, or I had a fear that my minister (at that time) might say something I was ashamed of and that would be offensive. Yet I get the sentiment that Rachel wrote, "I've heard many recovering alcoholics say they've never found a church quite like Alcoholics Anonymous. They've never found a community of people so honest with one another about their pain, so united in their shared brokenness." How do we strike a balance between not airing our diry laundry and being that shared-brokenness-community of love to each other?
I love this phrase, too, "broken and beloved."
This blog entry is about just the beginning of the book. It's chock full of more and deeper thoughts, as well as interesting, funny stories. I highly, highly recommend it.
